Chuck Norris Facts

1. Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
2. Jean-Claude Van Damme once kicked Chuck Norris' ass. He was then awakened from his dream by a roundhouse kick to the face.
3. Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
4. Chuck Norris doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.
5. Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."
6. The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"
7. On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
8. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
9. Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
10. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
11. When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
12. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
13. Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
14. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
15. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
16. Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium
17. Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
18. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
19. When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
20. Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.